We had a successful 3 day transfer where they put back 3 embies. I really didn't ask much about the quality of the embryos. I expected to get a report card, or a grade, but when I asked, the Doc said they were, "above average"... ok, whatever that means.
The truth is... I had to pee so badly that I just wanted to hurry up and get the whole thing over with. The worst part about this transfer, and quite frankly the whole IVF experience was the tremendous amount of pain my bladder endured on Wednesday. I was on the table with my legs in stirrups, literally breathing through the pain.
The nurse was in my face telling me how I should be thinking good thoughts, and that I would have a more successful transfer if I would think happy thoughts. Then she hands me the picture of the 3 embies. It actually kind of upset me.... Visualize this...
My bladder is more full than I've ever experienced before. Next up, abdominal ultrasound- READ: extreme pushing on my bladder, all for the purpose of ensuring my lining was ok. Check. Follow that up with the speculum, catheter(s) and transfer... all the while the nurse telling me to relax, go to my happy place, look at your embryos....
Are you kidding??? All I could think was, please, please don't let me pee on this table. They wanted me to wait 10 minutes before I peed, but I just could not do it. I am going to feel incredibly guilty if this does not work that it was my fault.
1. I had planned on being very zen and visualizing the embryos going in and softly landing on my very fertile, nurturing uterus. In reality... I was thinking HURRY UP!!!
2. Did I screw something up because I peed??
We have the little picture of the 3 embies, but feeling quite uncertain about what to do with it. When I got prego the first time, hubby was so excited to keep the first ultrasound picture. Then of course, we lost it. I expressed to him my reservations about this little picture, and he looked at me knowingly and said, "We already had one of those". Sad... every now and then he comes out with things that make me realize how much he's internalized our previous losses.
....So now we embark on the 2 week wait. I am really going to try not to test early. Beta is scheduled for the 13th of November, which is an absolute eternity from now. Serenity now!!
Friday, October 31, 2008
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4 comments:
My 2WW started yesterday. I am sending you good implantation vibes. Despite the bladder pain, it sounds as if everything went as planned. Now all you need is a little luck and you will be on your way.
Hi! I just found your blog, congratulations on being PUPO! Tomorrow (probably) I will have my 5day transfer. So we are close - sorry you had such a horrible ET experience, hoping mine is less painful. Good luck!
Hi. Just caught up on your last few posts...it's awesome that your 9 follies resulted in 3 embryos. Stick embies! I just had my first check of my first IVF and have 9 visible follies, so I feel encouraged reading your story. Thanks!
WOW, I think I'll be certain NOT to have my bladder so full. Good luck in your wait. Proud of you for staying away from the tests.
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