Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Crazy? or Pregnant

Thank you to all of you who have blogged out there and let your feelings all hang out in your blogs. I realize that I'm not the only one feeling this way!

CLOMID: Does it make you crazy all month or am I just spiraling down into a world of infirtility insanity? Could some one please answer that for me? Seriously, does clomid have after effects beyond the 5 days you take it?

I'm 9DPIUI and losing it quickly. I am in my second month of IUI and clomid and let me tell you... I am really nuts. If someone had told me that trying to have a baby would be so emotionally wrenching, I would not have believed them.

In the last six months, I've learned a new language (IF talk). To think that EWCM and IUI and BD is a regular part of my vocabulary is scary!

I am counting the days until I can POAS, and of course, I am analyzing every little feeling, twinge, cramp, bloat, sick feeling. The worst thing of all is that I can't really work out or drink!

The strangest thing about IF is how your loved ones and friends react. I've heard comments from my best friends mother, "I really want this to happen for... "(duh... me too). I have other friends who give me the look and talk about anything but IF. Another friend just sheepishly announced that she's having her third.... yup she's older than me (38)... and got prego twice on her first try (hate her)... Kidding of course. I feel guilty because I feel badly when she told me, but of course I'm happy for her.

If I hear one more person tell me to do yoga, relax, go on vacation, I will KILL THEM! Don't they get it? Don't they understand how your every minute of every day is spent obsessing about how I feel? What CD is it? Two lines or one? Is my temp still up? AF or PG cramps? Pain on the right side, pain on the left?

Oh... I'm better now! Thanks for the vent!