Tuesday, April 15, 2008

My "Furbaby"

I read that "furbaby" somewhere on a blog and loved it. Here is my little Oscar, who everytime I want to throw in the towel with IF treatmeats listens to me say, "We could just have a bunch of Portuguese Water Dogs".... Then he licks the salty tears from my face...

back at it again...again.

I'm on to cycle number six. The big SIX! This is so huge because after this cycle, if it doesn't work, insurance will finally cover us for IVF. Since my last post, I've started doing yoga, which surprisingly, I enjoy! I signed up for a light power yoga class and I really felt great after the first class. The "chanting" at the beginning was a bit much for me, but once that was over and we were on to the poses, it was great. I'm also doing acupuncture, and I'm taking a mind/body class.

The mind/body class has 13 women in it who are all at varying stages of infertility. It's supposed to teach you how to reduce stress in your life, by physically teaching your body how to react to stress. It's scientific, in that your body definitely has a reaction to stress, and it's been (sort of)proven that reducing that can impact fertility (No, I'm not telling anyone "just relax, it will happen"). Overall, I am not sure it will help me to get pregnant, but I think it will help in my overall life.

That said, the best part of the class is the sharing that happens, hearing about what other women are going through. Of the 13 women there, 4 have taken leaves of absence or have reduced their working hours in order to try and get pregnant. I was quite shocked at that, as it was something that I never considered. Given our financial situation, and the fact that I supply the insurance and my work has been great, I can't imagine taking a leave. However, I would LOVE it. I guess it was validating that IF is crazy stressful, and I'm not crazy for being a nutjob.

Another interesting thing was hearing from one of the peer counselors about her experiences. She was never able to have a baby, and is now pursing adoption. During the class, the instructor was talking about letting yourself have hope, which is something I have had a lot of trouble with. After so many failed cycles, I have a hard time envisioning ever getting pregnant. I have protected myself by thinking that it might not ever happen. I'm trying to work on that, because maybe the power of positive thinking will help me. Who knows... But, the peer councilor talked about having a plan B, and how that can give you the feeling of having more control over this situation. She's right. I have always been open to the idea of adoption, but been scared by all the risks and unknowns. However, if I want to be a Mom, it's a really viable option. That gives me hope! Hubby is also scared, but very open to thinking about it. That alone has really helped us this month. If I get nothing else out of the mind/body class, I think that alone has helped.

If you knew me, you would know just how out of character all of this zen-like stuff is for me. I'm a skeptic, not really religious, although highly superstitious. I guess part of me wants to be able to say I tried everything to make this happen. However, I could see the yoga becoming part of my life on an ongoing basis. Physically, it was such a great feeling.

Anyway... I'm on cycle (20) 6 and I'm getting close to trigger night. However, Hubby had some bad news last month that his sperm counts were LOW! This is an anomaly because they have always been so good in the past. He had the flu a few weeks before, so we were wondering if that could have been the cause. Just a few days ago he was also diagnosed with High Blood Pressure, which we are trying to get under control quickly. Does anyone know if that could impact sperm count?