Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Hope is creeping in...

I'm sooo trying not to get excited, but I can't help it. Maybe it's just because I'm getting more information than I've ever had before. But it looks as if my body is responding to the Gonal F by producing 6 measurable follicles on 1 side at day 10. Two are leading the way at 14 and 15. I was really, really hoping that we could convert to IVF, but my ovaries have not produced enough.

I'm trying not to visualize those 2 follies as embryos, really trying. But I can't help it. I feel as if I'm watching a train wreck. I've been repeating my mantra that I was only going through these inj+IUI cycles to get to IVF, but I'm letting hope back in. I know that if a BFN comes (which it always does) that I'm going to be crushed. But, I'm blocking that out for another few weeks. Am I crazy?

The emotional attachment that I have to these FOLLICLES is nuts. This just makes me feel even worse for the bloggers who have miscarried. At the same time, it's been equally as uplifting to read about the numerous sucesses. Thinking posititve thoughts...

2 comments:

LIW (Lady In Waiting) said...

I understand your attempts to manage your expectations. It's a mind F, no? Just do the best you can. Maintaing your sanity is key here, whatever it takes.

As for getting attached to the follies, I understand that 100%. I felt the same way. And I am still grieving the fact that only one of the embies from our IVF cycle decided to stick around. And that was after a concerted attempt not to get attached to them - I only allowed myself to look at their picture twice (the picture that I intentionally kept in the car.)

We get it hon, and you are not alone!!! Here's hoping this cycle is successful...

XOXOXO

Adriane said...

I was always attached to follicles, too. I think it's more normal than you think.

Best of luck to you! Hope they both get to 18 and you have a successful IUI cycle. Wouldn't that be fantastic!?