Wednesday, December 5, 2007

I could not help myself

I tested this morning at 10dpiui after seeing a little spotting last night. Negative! Not even the illusion of a second line, just a stark white stick with one very sharp red line.

I have an RE appt. on Friday and the nurses told me to test tomorrow, so I will, but I'm sure it will be negative. I'm just really sad today. I actually cried a lot last night knowing it was negative, seeing the spotting. I could delude myself into thinking it was late implantation bleeding, but I'd rather just face reality.

The RE appt. is to discuss next steps, which they've previewed as being injectables with IUI. Husby and I are going on a much needed vacation in January to Hawaii. We are very lucky, and can't wait to go. I think I've decided to take a break from fertility until we come back. Maybe I'll find some Hawaiian fertility Buddha to bring home with us.

Just need to get through the day today with no (or very few) tears. 16 cycles and counting...

3 comments:

LIW (Lady In Waiting) said...

Thanks SO much for your comment on my blog!!

It sounds like we have been TTC for nearly the exact same number of cycles. Our first "real" try was July of 2006.

I am here for you....

XOXO

A'Dell said...

We just had that lovely discussion with our RE. It was so hard. I wanted so badly to not be in that position - but there we were.

Where are you going in Hawaii? I LOVE LOVE LOVE Hawaii! We are going in April...we got married in Maui.

I am also one of those who has a trick uterus who plays the spotting? implantation bleeding? spotting? period? Game.

It is a crappy game - always keeping you on the edge of your seat. That's why I try so hard not to test. Every day I don't test is one more day I can be happy.

Adriane said...

I am so sorry about your negative test. The IF roller coaster really sucks.

I am on my second cycle of injectables with IUI. For what it's worth, I have much preferred the injectables over Clomid. I don't feel nearly as nuts.