Tuesday, March 11, 2008

endurance

I read everyones blogs every day and I don't understand something. I'm at the beginning of this IF race, or maybe, sadly, I'm approaching the mid-point. I feel as if I've run a marathon already. I'm completely mentally and physically exhausted, but I feel guilty saying that.

I've read about those of you who have been trying for years, miscarried or lost babies close to full term. How does one survive this kind of tragedy? If your life's dream is to have a family, and it just isn't going to happen, how does one recover from that?

Let's flip this around to the positive by saying I admire everyone who manages to recover and be happy after dealing with infertility and miscarriages. You are my heroes.

I'd love to know how people deal with the mental health part of infertility?

2 comments:

Me said...

"I'd love to know how people deal with the mental health part of infertility?"

I want to comment. I want to answer. I want to offer a morsel of truth or insight or just be generally helpful in anyway. But I got zip. I was sad. Then I was angry. Now'a'days I'm pretty OK most of the time, but I attribute that more to the fact that I'm not dosing myself with artificial hormones than anything else. I dunno. I think perhaps there is a perceptual shift when you start counting your time TTC in years instead of months... You can only be on emotional high alert for so long - eventually your brian just has to find some kind of peace, some where, some how.

LIW (Lady In Waiting) said...

I am sorry about your cycle. BFNs are always painful.

Maintaining mental health is, in my view, the hardest part of IF. It doesn't help, of course, that I struggle with depression and anxiety. But it is amazing what you deal with when you have to. It's hard, it hurts, you cry, you scream - and you rely on your supportive friends to carry you when necessary.

Having said that, I have not experienced the tragedy that other bloggers have. Losing Little Life now would be devastating. Losing him/her near birth might push me over the edge. But the goal is to take one thing at a time and try to maintain just enough hope to get you up in the morning. But not too much to make you feel so vulnerable that you become even more anxious about a possible tragedy.

I remember asking the same question that you did. And this blog world has been a savior to me and to lots of us. I have had some dark days but I am ok. I am here. You will be ok, too. No matter what happens.

Hang in there, friend.
XOXO