A tough few weeks

Well, it's been a tough few weeks but now I'm back in the saddle. In the last few weeks, our IF life has been pretty busy. We switched RE's to someone who I feel will be better at connecting to me on a human level. As I sitting there bawling in her office, she suggested the Mind/Body institue. So, I've signed up for this and it starts on Monday. I have really high hopes that this will make me feel better.

I've had a blue couple of weeks, to the point that I just didn't want to get out of bed. But, over the last few days, it's like a big cloud has lifted, and I'm able to function at a somewhat normal energy level.

I don't know, this thing is just so up and down. I go from being hopeless to letting hope creep in. Hubby really wants me to think that this will happen for us someday, I am just not there. I just can't envision myself getting prego.

I feel as if this is another wasted month. I took an HCG trigger, but based on the progression of my follies, the nurses were not sure if they would ovulate on their own before the trigger kicked in. So, they told us to "do it" the night before the IUI, which we did! Then, the next morning, we went in for the IUI and hubbys count was literally zero. ZERO! This is a big deal for us because he's always had really high counts in the past. We went in again the next day, and his washed count was 100,000. Still very, very low. So, they did the IUI anyway, so that we could complete the cycle for insurance purposes. But, when we had 56 million last month, how could this happen.
I know, I know, you only need 1, but come on!

Hubby was sick with the flu and 103 degree fever a few weeks ago, so maybe that depleted the sperm count. I just hope this is not an indicator that he's sick at all.

So here I am, deep in the throws of the 2ww. Still waiting....